“The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead, … to remain what we call ‘ourselves,’ to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be ‘good.’ … That is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do.” — C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
“If anyone should come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” — Luke 9:23–24
There’s a tension many Christians live with, often unknowingly: we want to be faithful, but we also want to stay in control. We want to follow Jesus—but only as far as it doesn’t disrupt our plans.
We try to be generous while chasing financial security.
We strive for purity while keeping hidden indulgences.
We want to be humble while building platforms or protecting our image.
C. S. Lewis calls this out with unsettling clarity. He says what seems hardest—full surrender—is actually far easier and freer than the self-contradictory way we often try to live: clinging to ourselves while trying to act like saints.
We think we can have both: a self-centered life with Christlike behavior. But Jesus insists it doesn’t work that way. The heart can’t serve two masters. A life that keeps self at the center—no matter how polished on the outside—will inevitably pull away from the life Jesus offers.
Lewis reminds us that we cannot serve God by giving Him part of our hearts. The only path to peace and wholeness is to hand over everything—our plans, our fears, even our “precautions”—and let Christ truly lead.
Lewis is saying that trying to be a “good person” while still keeping control of your life and chasing self-centered goals is a spiritually exhausting and ultimately futile task. The only true way to live the Christian life is full surrender—and while that’s terrifying, it’s also freeing. Paradoxically, what seems harder (dying to self) ends up being easier and more life-giving than the divided life most of us are trying to live.
Are you willing to ask yourself, “What do I most fear losing if I fully surrender to Christ?”…
