One of the devotionals on my bookshelf that I frequent is A Year With C.S. Lewis. Those who know me well know that I love C.S. Lewis. I had a professor once who said, “All of my original thoughts are from C.S. Lewis.” I could have said the same.
The reading for September 29 is an excerpt from A Grief Observed. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed as a personal reflection on the untimely death of his wife. The title of the entry is “Where Is God?”
In this entry, Lewis essentially points out that in his experience, God’s presence is always sweet, accessible and marked with a satisfying joy during the good times in life. However, when we turn into a dark valley, whether it’s for a moment or an extended period, he appears to be absent.
Lewis writes this, “But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you fine? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.”
I’ve experience what Lewis describes here on many occasions. How do we find comfort in the midst of this experience? After all, isn’t our faith there to comfort us? Isn’t it precisely for these moments that we need Jesus and the sweet, comforting presence of the Holy Spirit? If we can’t find him during these times, then what kind of God is He?
The first things that Lewis points out is that Jesus himself experience this. We read Jesus’ words as he hung on the cross, “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me!?” (Matthew 27:46–47). Jesus understands this experience. This thought comforts me. This tells me right out the gate that I’m not alone. The lie is the voice that says, “You are alone.” We must remember that even though we may feel alone, our faith extends well beyond emotion. Perhaps we’re simply experiencing the presence of God in a different way—a way that we’re not used to. A way that requires more digging, more faith, more pain, more hurt.
Think about this for a moment. The presence of God becomes accessible to humanity through the suffering and death of the Messiah. People can only experience God’s presence because of Christ’s pain. Doesn’t it stand to argue, then, that pain, hurt, and brokenness is the battleground for the manifest presence of God in our lives? I think so.
If it were easy, it wouldn’t be faith at all, it would just be sensible.
Hi Matt, I’m in Gabon (west Africa) this week preaching in french to surgical residents and pastors…. Last week it was Cameroon. Just a wonderful experience. I love your blog articles. Thanks. In recent weeks back in the states we have been exploring options for publishing at FAS. We are talking and exploring and dreaming. To state the obvious, the missing piece in all this is a leader. I’m giving the leadership as I am able but am also keeping my eyes open for the future. Just wanting you to be aware of our journey… And also wanting to be aware of yours. Thanks for staying in touch! Blessings, Stan
It is always a great joy to hear from you Stan. Blessings to you as you teach in Africa. Bring the light of the gospel, brother.
I’m still very open to keeping the dialogue open. The million dollar question is always “When?” I promise my fervent prayers on the matter.
All my best and keep in touch,
Matt